I've been in a bit of a panic for quite a few months now. It all comes down to and centers around the paranormal BDSM antho my editor signed me up for last year. Ok, super-duper that I got another sale under my belt. Not so super-duper is that fact I have been scared sh*itless about writing it.
What the hay? you ask, scratching your head.
Yes, I know. I should be tickled pink that my name is going to be first on the cover. Truth is, I've worried myself into a dither that the story I proposed wasn't good enough. And that I am not talented enough to write it. That it will stink, suck, and sink the antho.
In other words, my usual tizzy tornado before I set my fingers on the keyboard and write. You may not have guessed (or maybe you have) that I am the sort of writer who has to stew for a bit on a story. Well, I've been stewing on the story I'd said I do. As the time to write it came around, I kept avoiding the computer. Why? Because it was the wrong story for the antho. Fortunately I have an editor I can discuss these things with, and she gave me artistic license to write what inspired me.
Talk about a brow wiping.
I knew the story I'd proposed was wrong and didn't have the nerve to say anything for months. The word paranormal and BDSM together conjure images in my mind of some pretty twisted stuff. In my world that's not a bad thing. After all, that's what I do, and happily, I might add. The idea that kept creeping to mind involved a combo of the movies Psycho (an abandoned town with the proverbial creepy place and smoking hot owner, a girl on the run with a bagful of stolen loot), The Entity (demons with sex on their minds) and the song Hotel California (hehe, you can check out any time you like, but you can never leave...)
Right-o. Panic has eased now that I have the concept down solid. And now that I have settled on my story for the antho, I feel calmer. Because I know it is the right story. Does that make sense? It fits the theme of the anthology and maybe, just maybe, if I write it right, it will be a brilliant lead off to an already spectacular line-up, which is Jodi Lynn Copeland and Anya Howard. I admit it, too, that I've been afraid of being the weakest writer and that my story will still bite. Proverbial insecurity, the little monster that sits in the back of my mind, has been busy whipping the thought deep into my brain. The usual creative insecurities.
How about you, writers? Ever start a story and know it's all wrong? Ever sit at the pc chewing your nails to the quick because of insecurity...or in just plain old fear that you couldn't write the damn book?
Share, please. Inquiring minds want to know.
As I've been brewing up my story I've also been foodling around with my website. That's another thing that never satisfies me. I want it to be better, more interesting than it is. Somehow I never achieve my goal. Someday I will hire a pro to do it, LOL.
Meanwhile, I need to get back to the proverbial WIP. :)Wish me luck!
Posted by Devyn Quinn ::
1:52 AM ::